Just got off the phone with you, and I’m drowning in a feeling of uneasiness. I should’ve done a better job at keeping records. It would certainly help iron things out right now. The frustration in your voice was clear and I’m not sure if I could handle it if everything got out of hand.
And at the same time my heart’s pounding irregularly. I can’t stop thinking about you after last night. And once again I’m finding myself asking that exact same question I continue to struggle with. I suddenly feel so alone in this world. I catch myself thinking and preparing for a girls night out next Saturday where I can’t be just who I am. I don’t know what I’d say if they ask the right questions. To think they used to be my role models —dare I say, mentor— not being truthful to them is not being truthful to myself. But I don’t know if I (or they?) would be comfortable if I come clean.
Now I am agitated, restless and worried… but maybe also ‘cuz I’m just too hungry.
Even if I could push rewind, I’m not sure what I would do.
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