If you really knew me...

you’d know that I have become obsessed with you over the last few weeks. And that I am not usually the way I present myself in front of you. I do it because I am trying to impress… but it’s hard to tell if it’s working if you keep ignoring me. But I guess I am intrigued by a new friend. Strangers who become new friends is a phenomenon that I easily take for granted. Only until now do I realize that making friends gets harder as we grow up because we become more cautious. We build a wall at first to keep them at a distance. Then when it is “safe” to have them come closer do we take down the wall one stone at a time.

Or maybe it’s just me. I used to be super shy. So it’s still hard for me to come out of my turtle shell if no one approaches me first. Usually I’ll be the quiet kid that sits on the couch at a party where everyone else is conversing joyfully with their friends.

Anyway, I don’t know what has gotten into me this time, but I feel the need to prove myself in front of you. Maybe because you “discovered” me and made me your new project, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. New friends are hard to keep because we all go back to our “old” friends. So I am desperately trying to find a way to perhaps force you to hold on to me… so much so to the point that I started to think about you incessantly. And now, I don’t know if this counts, but I like the way it sounds: I have a girl crush.